Facing the cycles of life

How does one know exactly how to face the cycles of life? Hundreds of books have been written, articles have been published, and people have talked about it, but when you are the one who is facing it, how do you handle it? How do you handle the emotions, the tears, the fears, the questions? I've cried more since Tuesday, than I have in a very long time. There is nothing that can prepare you for the reality of aging.

My Grandma and I both have strong personalities, so throughout my life we have had our times of butting heads over things, sometimes even greatly disliking her for how I felt like I wasn't one of the "accepted, brilliant" grandkids since I was home schooled, but there is also a realization of a deep love there. I love to see how she adores the girls. Not only does it brighten up her day when we come to visit, it gives her laughter at the funny things the girls say and do while they are there at her house.

This has been a week like none other. Although it started out as an average week, it has definitely not closed out that way. On Wednesday, I got a text from my aunt saying she was on the way to the ER with my Grandma. Grandma had woken up very confused and refused to get up out of bed. If you know my grandma, this is extremely unusual. She is typically an early riser and has her bed made before you can blink. It is rare for her not to have a response or comment.

The family doctor was contacted and the decision was made to go to the ER. They ran a slew of tests, compared them to older ones they had on file and found no change. The doctor mentioned it's probably just Dementia. As we left, we began to see just how bad the confusion was.

We have essentially gone from her being "normal" and conversant on Tuesday to having to care for her almost completely. Dealing with this has been gut wrenching for all of us. We keep asking if there is something we've missed...or the doctor missed. It's so hard to understand and come to grips with.

Grandma sits in her chair and sleeps most of the day. She doesn't seem to know to do anything else. She can converse if she's awoken, but doesn't seem to have much to say. She has to be prodded to eat, prodded to go to the bathroom, prodded to get dressed, prodded to drink water. All of this requires much patience, much love, and both mental and physical energy. One must help her wherever she goes. She has a 4-leg cane, but doesn't know where to go. A frequent question is, "What do I do now?"

Grandpa is devastated. They have been married for 66 years. She is his lover, soul-mate, best friend, and companion. They do EVERYTHING together. He's also exhausted. This takes so much energy. It requires so many decisions. Grandpa is a very laid back kind of guy and decisions have usually been Grandma's first response. He's doing amazing caring for her. One of the things that has touched me the most is to see his deep, unending love for Grandma. On Thursday, he left to go to a meeting in the office of their apartment building (just down the hall), and before he left, he knelt down on one knee and kissed Grandma's cheek. She was sleeping, and only flinched as someone who was being interrupted from a nap and then went on sleeping. In that moment, I saw a kind of love I pray I'll have for my husband 56 years from now. It was not the kind of "love" that is thrown around in our movie-star saturated culture. This is the kind of love that knows no end and one that truly believes the "til death do us part" with every fiber of his body.

Today, we met with a caregiving organization to see about getting help. Grandpa is 91 and is just not capable of bathing, dressing, moving, and doing all of the care for Grandma. It's too much for him to handle doing it all. After the meeting and subsequent research and calls, it has been set up to have some care come in each day to help. This should be good since
my Aunt and I have been the caregivers since Tuesday. I spent the night Wednesday night and was there some of the day on Thursday and have been in and out ever since. I'm glad to be in the same town and be able to help.

I'm so thankful God has us here for this. I grew up so far from any of my grandparents and never had the chance to be with them except on vacations and holidays. Now, we see them about once a week. It has given Phil and I an opportunity to build a relationship with them and also allow our girls to have a special relationship with G & G. We've been blessed with such a rich heritage and know that without a doubt we are prayed for each day in their prayers.

Almost 3 years ago when we moved here, I was excited that we would at least have G & G here in town. I had no idea that at 33, I'd be coming face to face with the cycles of life...the decisions that go with caring for aging loved ones. I've listened to my mom talk about handling these situations with her parents, but have been so thankful that G&G Lytle have been doing so well.

I have no fear of where Grandma will go when she dies. She'll be in Heaven with so many who have gone before her. She'll have an amazing homecoming with her Maker and will be relieved of the daily pains she feels due to being 91. What I find so hard to comprehend and grasp is how we can go from sitting having a conversation to caring for her as if she were a young child in such a short span of time (24 hours). I don't want to see Grandma like this. I want to sit and have more conversations about the past, about what life was like back when she was growing up. I want to repeat her favorite bedtime saying with her "Sleep tight, wake up bright, in the morning light to do what's right with all your might" for many more years to come. I'm not ready to share her with her Maker. I'm not ready for her to need constant care. I'm not ready to see how this is breaking Grandpa's heart. (Grandpa and I have always had a special bond. This has definitely grown that.) I long for the tears to stop, yet wonder if I really want them to. With each tear, I feel my heart hurt so much more. With each tear, I open my hands and say, "God I don't understand, I don't want this, this hurts so, but I know I can't do this without you. Take me in your hands, I give it to you." I long to make the pain go away. The mental picture I have right now reminds me of the one in the book "I'll Love you Forever" where the mom holds the boy in her arms. I wish I could go crawling into my mom's lap and have her tell me it will be ok and kiss me. Isn't that how it was when we were kids? We could totally believe when we were in our parents' arms that everything would be ok? Why does it seem when we are adults that life is so far from that point? Oh how I long to be a kid again when it seemed the only problems we faced was who do we play with today. These grown up problems, decisions, emotions can rip you at the core.

(Side note..I'm listening to a song on Pandora radio by FFH..."I need your touch, I need your love, Oh, Jesus, speak to me. I need to hold you oh so close, Jesus, speak to me..." How appropriate!) The next song that came on was "Praise you in the storms" which besides the inner storm, a thunderstorm is going on outside.

To those of you who are here, please, don't ask how I am...it will only create more tears. A hug, a touch on the shoulder, your prayers .... I hate crying in public and at this point, it seems all that will come out. There is no "non-tear" version of this story.

The Man with a Funny Name

Once upon a time, some 23 years ago, the man with a funny name became a part of my life. He was an ordinary man, but one with a big heart. He took me in from the moment he saw me and I became his girl. The man with a funny name was much older, old enough to be my grandfather. He had a smile that could win your friendship in a heartbeat and that is truly what happened.

One July day, shortly after Independence Day, I was introduced to him. We were at a campground in a small Indiana town, and he was the one man I could easily have hated. If it weren't for this man and his conversations with my dad, I would still have been a New York girl, but this man cajoled my parents to leave all that was familiar and follow God's calling to plant a church. I had no desire to leave my home in NY for this so-called experience of church planting. All I knew was that I'd left my friends behind and had no hope of finding more anytime soon since we didn't know anyone.

When we moved to Indiana, we had no home. We knew we wanted to be in the community where we were starting the church, but still had to locate a house. We found one, it was actually our realtor's house. The process went quickly and I remember helping to pack the realtor's boxes with our boxes that we were unpacking. I can remember emptying the hall closet, wiping the shelves, and then loading our stuff into the cabinet. Then, I would fill our box with the stuff from their closet that needed to go to their new house.

Moving in day came. There were a bunch of people from the district there to help us unload the moving truck into the garage so we could return it. Since we didn't have a church with people already, it wasn't possible to have them there. The man with the funny name was there though. He brought his smiles and his hug and kiss for his girl. (That's what he called me.)

Lunch time came and we made a plan to head out to Rockville Road to the Hardees restaurant. He gave general directions about where we needed to head and we all left in separate vehicles. I was with my mom. I really don't remember if anyone else was with us or not. I just know we drove up and down, up and down that stretch of Rockville Road looking for Hardees. We couldn't find it. So, mom said we'd just stop and eat at the Burger King and maybe the others would see our car and join us. Shortly after we ordered, the man with a funny name showed up with the others alongside. We asked him about where Hardees was, and were told that this was Hardees...even though the name on the sign said Burger King! From that moment on, the man with a funny name became "Uncle Hardee" to me and I became even more his girl.

He'd come visit us as often as he could. Many times Aunt Sarah would come with him. We always loved having her around too. One Sunday jumps out at me very clearly. We had been meeting in the Avon Middle School for awhile and our church was beginning to grow there. On that Sunday, I looked out the windows into the parking lot and saw him coming. I took off like only an 11 year old flash of light can. I fairly flew out the doors and right into his arms. Uncle Hardee was here. This was a special day because he was there. He grabbed me into a hug, gave me the customary kiss (which always made me blush), and told me, "You are a beautiful young lady and one day some young man is going to want to marry you. You make sure he meets Good 'Ol Uncle Hardee's approval." I always blushed and agreed, but rolled my eyes thinking he was silly.

Who was this man with a funny name? He is a man who is now sitting at the feet of my Lord. Oh the shear excitement he must be feeling as he talks with HIM and tells Him about those he loves. This man is Harold Bardsley. Pastor, District Superintendent, Indiana Wesleyan University Board member and so much more. But to me, he will always remain in my heart as "Good 'ol Uncle Hardee." Each time I pass a Hardee's restaurant, drive past the Indiana North District Office, or drive around Glendale Lake, his memory will be fresh in my mind and on my heart.

Uncle Hardee, this world just isn't going to be the same with out you. I'll forever wait for you to walk in the door by the Splash Welcome Center and look me in the eye with that twinkle and smile your love at me. I miss you. I always will.

I rejoice that you are with your Maker. Maybe you can do the work of helping to have my house prepared so I don't have to unpack into this one! Or Maybe you could build that Hardee's restaurant so when I come to meet my Maker, you can take me there.

There is so much I've left unsaid. So many things I would love to have known. Our paths went separate directions until 2 years ago when as in days gone by, I came running (unexpectedly) up to you in the Old College Church after service and re-introduced myself as your long lost girl who still loved you. One who sits here mourning your loss with a tear-stained face. Oh how I wish my girls would have known a relationship with you as I did. I'm so sorry I didn't share them with you so you'd have them to love too. You would have loved them, probably more than you loved me! They're even funnier and sweeter than I was.

Thank you for your part in bringing us to Indiana. So many amazing opportunities came from the time we were in Avon. I found out I was a whiz on the telephone, becoming the top ranked telemarketer when we made all those calls trying to get the church started. I found out I loved going door to door with you too. I've made friends that I still have after all these years because we were there. Thank you.

Uncle Hardee, I love you.

The Funiest Pet Show

The Funiest Pet Show

Hi, my name is Lilly. I'm just telling you about pet's. I saw some rabbits in the pet show. The cats and dogs got loos. All the sanden the judges hammer fell to the ground. They gave award to most beautiful pet and to the most obedient pet. Sammy bought a fish to the pet show. Kayla's dog jumped to me. I played games too.

I hope you liked it. I have to tell you to come to my house soon.

I won fist prize!

The End!

Cold weather - bah humbug

I was never born a Southerner (unless being born south of Canada counts), so I can't say I have the warm weather blood in me like my friend Kathy Bell, but I can tell you when it gets to a certain point, I find it hard not to just curl up in bed with a good book, some great background music, and peace and quiet. Ok, I'd do it all the time, but it is especially tempting when it's cold out. Tonight I think it is even more desirable.

When I look at the temperature outside, I see that is below 0 and the wind-chill makes it about -22. Inside, the temperature has dropped by 5 degrees since this afternoon and I'm thinking this is insane. I don't live in Alaska! The other thing here is that I was born and mostly raised in NY where the wind isn't nearly as strong. Since we live in an area with LOTS of open fields (that sounds silly when you write it!) so the wind is felt so much more than when you live in an area with hills to help block it.

As I type, the words "Baby, it's cold outside..." keep ringing thru my head. A few other options..."Jack Frost nipping at your nose" (especially funny after watching Santa Clause 3!) (Phil said that's how it feels in here), "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire..." that's a warm thought.

On that warm note, I think I'll take my cold self off to bed and see if I can pile on enough blankets to stay warm tonight.

Revolutionary War Wax Museum

Today Lilly's class had a "wax" museum. Each of the kids was a different character from that time period. I've done my best to document it with pictures. Lilly was Martha Washington.


Here's how it worked...each kid dressed for their part, had a script (most had them memorized), and when you stepped in front of them, they were "frozen" (as frozen as 3rd/4th graders get!). You would push their "on" or "start" buttons to make them talk. When they finished their script, they would freeze again. It was a very creative idea! Yeah, Mrs. Zurcher!






































This is what happened at the end of his "story". He died.












Lilly was Martha Washington.












Abigail Adams























The race track behind this guy has nothing to do with his actual performance. The racetrack is part of a behavioral modification tactic. It's another cool idea of Mrs. Zurcher's.

It's time for The BLACK FRIDAY SALE!!

You are invited to attend by phone or email…

The Annual BLACK FRIDAY SALE!!!!

When: 6 am to 1 pm on Friday, November 26th

Where: at the click of your mouse (not the kind that squeaks and has a tail) or the push of a few buttons on your phone.

What: An annual Customer Appreciation Sale where you’ll receive discounts on products and the opportunity to win a piece of Cookware!

How do I participate?
You can log onto www.pamperedchef.biz/lisahuber to VIEW products (and great Christmas gift ideas). DO NOT ORDER there. (you’ll miss out on the discounts since it can take up to 24 hours to notify me) You may place your order by phone @ 765-661-6807 (leave a message with the products you want and the time you called) or email at pcheflisa@gmail.com. A response will come later from me with your total.



What are the deals?
Discounts: 

6-7:59 - 20% discount 

8-9:59 - 15% discount 

10-11:00 - 10% discount 

11:01 - 1 pm 5% discount 


I'll be giving away a piece of Executive Cookware as my drawing this year. I will also be giving out a few other random prizes throughout the morning, so you'll have several chances to win. 


Here's how to rack up the tickets for that drawing: 

Join my team (follow the link on my website) - 10 tickets Book a December Party (any kind counts)- 10 tickets 

Book a January party - 8 tickets 


Set an appointment to talk about how a PC business could work for you - 8 tickets 


Refer a friend (they must mention your name) - 5 tickets each 


$200 order - 8 tickets 

$100 order - 5 tickets 

$75 order - 3 tickets 

$50 order - 2 tickets 

Place an order - 1 ticket 


Pay by credit/debit card - 1 ticket

For great gift ideas, visit:
https://www.pamperedchef.com/images/cc/us/pdf/holidaydisplaycards.pdf

I'm still here

I haven't written in awhile, so I thought I'd put up a quick post. It's about 35 degrees and snow is falling. It isn't really sticking to the ground. We did awaken to a dusting of snow (and apparently ice since I had to scrape the van). It was pretty and according to Katy "Lots of snow!" That brought Phil running to look only to express rather exasperatedly "That's not a lot!"

I've been very busy with Pampered Chef lately. I thank God for His blessing on my business. As I look back over the past 2 years, my team has grown tremendously and I now have 11 team members who are active on my team. 2 of them just signed within the past 2 weeks! Although I have not reached my big goal some of you have heard me talking about, I'm still working on it. I have until 12/31. I have over $15,000 points to go to earn that incentive trip that will allow me to take Phil on a 10th anniversary trip! We'll be heading to Miami Beach to a resort there. I am so appreciative of all those who are helping me reach that goal! If you are interested in helping by hosting a show, a catalog show, placing an order, or want to find out how you can start your own PC business, please let me know (blatant plug, I know!).

The girls are doing well. Lilly had dental surgery today. She seems to be in a small amount of discomfort, but doing well. The girls are resting (I'm heading for a nap too!!!! YIPEE!) The dentist said she needed to stay home today rather than go to school. Lilly hates missing school, but was happier to do it on a Monday than a Tuesday since Tuesday is art and PE.

Katy keeps really busy with a growing amount of work. Many days I wonder why on earth we are doing so much, but just when I think we should back off, I find we're missing something else (not knowing our math facts or our blends/special sounds) and it creates an issue with our other work. Oh the joy of trying to figure out the balance so we do what we need to, but don't overdue. I think it's too much for her right now. Guess I'll have to assess that.

There are about 4 weeks of school left at IWU, so Phil's starting to feel the end of the semester push to get things done. There is also work to be done in preparation for the new chapel sound system. This seems to keep him the busiest lately.


Thank you to so many of you who have prayed and commented after my post on friends. It's been a blessing reading what God has given you to share and seeing how He works in my life. Although the situation is far from "fixed", I'm seeing Him work. I'm making a conscious effort to focus on friendships.

It's nap time now. I need to go rest and make sure the migraine I had yesterday does not return. I've got a Pampered Chef party to do in Columbia City - near where I spent my teen years. It should be fun connecting with some of the people I knew then.

Droopy Eyes, Mind Chock-full of stories, and a clock that says it's past my bedtime.

What do all those things have in common?The seem to be my life lately.

Droopy eyes - when I sit for any period of time with out being engaged in more ways then just listening or watching, I fall asleep (or if we put it nicely, I doze off.) I do not have the talent of my dad perfected so that I can be in the middle of a conversation, drift off to sleep, only to wake up and pick up exactly where he let off (I figure that takes years to perfect, so I'm just getting started!)

Droopy eyes - running the candle at both ends (this doesn't mean I have the flu from either end, just burning the midnight oil. There's just never enough time in a day to accomplish all that needs to be accomplished.

Mind full of stories - why is it when I'm the most tired and all I want to do is go to sleep that my brain is suddenly full of stories and ideas for stories. It is at that point that I wish I could hook up a Flash drive to my inner lobe called my brain and just start saving info so I could deal with it later. I am often heard (not out loud) to say, "Oh, that sounds like good story material". I just have a hard time getting things to paper because they usually come at a really bad time. They can come while I'm working out at the gym, doing a PC party, or attempting to go to sleep. A pad of paper beside the bed won't really work as it just all wants to come pouring out at once!

A clock that says it's time fore bed - my husband is in bed soundly sleeping and I couldn't sleep. My eyes are so droopy now that I could probably fall asleep, but I want to finish writing. It's been a week since Lilly's birthday and I haven't even gotten her pictures posted online. UGH.

It's been a very busy week. I've made the commitment to jump all in and go for a goal that is much greater than I can imagine achieving. I want desperately to earn a Pampered Chef incentive trip and take my husband on a 10th anniversary trip (Paid for by PC!!!) This means I will be pouring heart and soul into this until Dec. 31 at midnight. I've been asking friends and relatives to help me out. So far, I've booked 3 shows and 2 catalog shows. I have a few others in the works. It needs to go so much further. I do have a recruit who signed tonight, so that will help toward the total as well. Feel free to ask how it is going and encourage me too. If you need to order any Pampered Chef, please do so thru my website (email me for more info).

Now, I must close as I can't stay awake to keep typing. Hope you enjoyed your read!