Lilly's surgery went well yesterday, but the pain she is dealing with is excruciating. As a mom, it's really hard to see her in so much pain and not be able to do much about it.
The surgeon removed her tonsils and cauterized her adenoids...hoping that would solve the problem with the adenoids. He said it was successful and left us with 2 prescriptions and instructions. About 15 minutes later, we were called to join Lilly in her room. As soon as the nurse said, "Oh, look Lilly, here's some people you know." She started screaming. I dropped my stuff and went running to her side. What we witnessed in the next hours was heart wrenching. She was curled up in a ball in the recliner chair, basically telling me (through her tears, screams, and moans), "Mommy, why did you let them do this to me? This hurts more then you said it would. Help me." So, for the next 2 hours, we sad with her, cared for her, disposed of her vomit, and tried to understand what she was saying.
Before the surgery, the nurse, doctor, and anesthesiologist had asked if she had ever had any problems with anesthesia. We didn’t know since she had never been “under” before.
So, here how it worked…after getting checked in, we waited to be called back to the room. My friend Ronda and her sister Jil came to pray with Lilly (and us too) and gave her a white stuffed animal cat (which has been named Tonsil). Then after a few minutes, we were called back to the room. They gave Lilly a couple gowns (since 1 is never decent enough) and a pair of yellow slipper socks (“Mommy, these are just like the ones Kayla got.” Kayla is a little girl from her class who had this done about a month prior – Lilly idolizes her because she already had the surgery.). We waited there until it was time to go back to surgery. When it was time, they gave me (since I was the “appointed” one to go in with her) a yellow surgical gown to put on over my clothes and those slipper boots to put over my shoes. Then, we (the nurse, Lilly, and I) walked back to the surgery room. They had her climb up on the table and lay back. She had her nighty (snuggle blanket) and Tonsil with her. The anesthesiologist started talking to her right away. He asked her if she watched TV…to which she replied, “No.” (Quite true!) He was trying to find out if she had a favorite cartoon character. So, we mentioned Clifford because sometimes she watches that on TV with her sister. So, he started in on a story while they got the mask on her. He told her about how Clifford went for a walk one day and saw a fire…a car fire…Scooby Do was there too…and they had to put a mask just like this on Clifford so he could breathe. That’s about as far as he got before she was out.
“Ok, Mom, she’s out. Here’s where we need to hold her still.” Then the nurse and I moved her nighty and Tonsil to the foot of her bed. Then, he told me, “Ok, Mom. See you later.” I looked at him, not sure whether to smile or cry, and the nurse led me out. She asked if I was ok. I told her it was a lot easier dealing with anesthesia myself…although I have never been completely “under”, then seeing it done to your child and having to leave. She understood. She directed me to dispose of my cap and boots in the trash and the gown in the soiled laundry bin and go wait in the waiting room.
I made it out there, wanting to cry for leaving her behind and not being with her. I called my mom to tell her Lilly was “under” and tried not to cry. I then read my book for a bit, and by 10:45, couldn’t stand the wait anymore. I had watched TV, read my book, talked to my mom, huffed a few times, and finally got up to pace. I was getting stiff. Phil, on the other hand, had vanished into movie world on my ipod. I was slightly annoyed because I wanted to talk with someone, but he just wasn’t interested. Finally, the doctor came out and gave us the summary and let us asks questions. After he left, we had to wait yet another 15 minutes before they called us in. The nurse directed us to the room. When we reached the room, I heard the nurse in there say, “Lilly, here’s someone you know.” The next thing I know she was screaming (which must have hurt tremendously) and I had dropped my stuff and was by her side.
Seeing her curled up in a ball in the chair with an IV in her hand and her face so pale she looked like a ghost, was tear jerking. She was pathetic looking. She couldn’t really talk. Her throat was too sore. They had given her painkiller, but it didn’t seem to be helping. We snuggled her…as much as she would allow us to. She didn’t want to be touched too much. She groaned and moaned a lot. We worked to try to get her to drink (side note: after a tonsillectomy, if they don’t drink several things will happen 1) dehydration leading to a hospital stay 2) throat will hurt worse 3) fever increases 4) bleeding can occur 5) healing will not progress as it should). She sipped, but just kept crying. I had a terrible time trying to understand her. (Sometimes it took both of us trying, and that didn’t even help…we had to tell her we didn’t understand what she wanted.) She did tell me she was hungry, so we got her a Popsicle. She didn’t like it. Shortly afterwards, she screamed letting us know she was going to throw up. I grabbed the cup I had put the Popsicle in. We kept her drinking. She begged me to come closer to her and touch her, so I did. I heard a horrible noise in her stomach…thinking it was her hunger; I ignored it because she wasn’t really ready to eat. Then, within about a minute, she screeched and threw up. This happened at least one more time. It was frustrating because we were trying to get her to drink and then it would come back up. They insisted that she drink a certain amount before they would take her IV out. She really wanted it out.
She went back and forth between sleeping and being awake. It was hard to know whether to let her sleep or wake her.
We were finally released to go home, and they took her down to the van in a wide wagon. It was handy. After picking up Katy from a friend’s house, we came home. After pulling in the drive, Lilly once again started screaming…I thought it was her being mad at her sister, but she grabbed for her puke bucket and started throwing up. We got her into the house and into bed so we could get something to eat. After some goofing around, they finally went down for their naps. I desperately wanted a nap as I was so tired, but I needed to go get Lilly’s prescriptions. I ended up running a bunch of errands …partly so I could have some space. The nap would have been better, but…so goes life.
Then last night, we were concerned about putting her in her own room because we were afraid she wouldn’t be able to communicate with us if she needed us. We had given her a bell, but we weren’t sure she would be able to figure it out and get us. She slept on the floor at the end of our bed and her sister slept on the floor by Phil.
About 5 this morning, Lilly woke us up screaming. Her throat hurt so much. We gave her pain medicine and snuggled her. She got an ice pack for her throat, and then had a Popsicle. That must have eased the pain enough so she could sleep.
It’s been a long day around here. Today is my birthday, and I was hoping for a good day. Katy has been very disobedient, jealous, and mean. It is very unlike her to be this way.
We woke her up after her daddy got home and had a LONG discussion with her about her behavior and what would happen if it continued tomorrow. She’s bent on making Lilly really mad and it is so unlike her usual demeanor. UGH! It better get better tomorrow.
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